2014 threw one last curveball at us before it ended. The curveball was totally unexpected and threw me off kilter for quite some time. If I’m honest, I don’t think I’ve fully got my head around it.
It would appear that I am growing another beautiful little human being inside me!
If I am completely honest, I am terrified. My world hasn’t fully righted itself from Baby Comma arriving and while my post-natal depression is under control, I know I’m not fully recovered yet.
I am terrified that I will end up with the unwanted induction and awful hospital stay again.
I am terrified that I will, once more, fail at breastfeeding.
I am terrified that I will end up back in the dark pit of despair and depression I was in back in the summer.
That being said, I am a different person to the one I was a year ago. I’ve experienced a completely debilitating period of depression and I’ve spent so much time trying to figure out why. I think I know and I’m stronger.
Last Thursday we had a scan, and we saw a happy Baby Spot, with a beautiful strong heartbeat and due around 17th August 2015. It was another amazing experience and it amazes me that even on my fourth time I can be so overwhelmed.
While I know the next 2/3 years aren’t going to be the easiest, there is always enough room in our family for another baby to love.
Boyo can’t believe it, Princess Pants has already ordered a sister and Baby Comma, well, he’s not going to be ‘Baby’ Comma anymore.