Next month, I should be starting the second half of Level 2 of my degree. I registered and printed off the financial support forms way back in April. However, this was before my break down at baby clinic 3 hours before my exam for A200 was due to start.
Since my breakdown, I sat an exam and I achieved a grade 3 pass in it. I felt certain I would be able to return to studying in October, fresh and with enthusiasm to learn.
As July ended and August began, it occurred to me that my financial support forms were still sat on the table in the living room. Even the thought of trying to fill them in filled me with dread. I continued to will the time to crawl to a stop. I didn’t want to go start studying again…
So, halfway through August I gathered myself together. I dialled the number for The Open University and explained my reasons… declared I wanted to withdraw my reservation and switch to the new style History degree.
There was never a problem with that… but student finance has changed so that was a point for discussion. But either way, it wouldn’t have made a difference to me returning to studying next year.
This year I am taking a year out. A year where I can concentrate on Comma, Princess Pants and Boyo. A year where I can concentrate on being a wife. A year where I can concentrate on the house… And, perhaps most importantly, a year in which I can concentrate on me and getting myself back to 100% again.
I doubt my decision; I am feeling like a bit of a failure. However, it isn’t failure if I plan to continue, is it? And surely it is better to go back with a fresh head and a happy mood.